Goodbye 2021...Hello 2022!

A new year is upon us. Did you heave a sigh of relief like I did? The tail end of 2020 and 2021 were the most awful year of my existence. I haven’t shared with a lot of people what has gone on, but I’ll do a little bit of that now. In 2021, I lost three good horses. My best boy Doc succumbed to a surprise attack of Colitis on December 2, 2020. The vet couldn’t save him and he was gone in just a few hours. Then six months later to the day, I lose my heart horse Merlin. Many of you know about him. He was the colt that lost his eye. His loss was so shocking and so emotional for me that I completely shut down. Now, seven months later I can finally talk about it without bawling, but I still have tears in my eyes whenever I even think of him. I will go more into what happened in the near future. The last horse we lost was one of our really good mares. She was in peril foaling. There were no vets available and the one that I could get on the phone was a real jerk. In the end, I had to ease her suffering. I have never had to do that before and I hope to never have to do it again. I bawled my eyes out. We also lost 4 colts (including the one in utero). It happens. Some die young, but that amount of loss this month was almost too much to bear.

Then, I’m sad to say we also lost 3 grandparents in eight months this year. We lost Grandpa Corky in April, Grandma Clarice in October, and Grandma Mary in December. In face, we have Grandma Mary’s funeral tomorrow. It’s been hard saying goodbye to them, but I also know that in their 80+ years they did a lot of living and they were ready to go. They will be so missed!

I’m not writing all of this for pity. I merely want to share with you how awful this past year was for me and for my family. Perhaps you have also experienced something similar. I know that since the pandemic arrived nothing has been normal. Oh, how I wish to go back to our carefree lives before this bullsh*t got here. Anyway, I digress…

2021 was a year of loss for me, but it was also a year of insight. I left social media for a while. Maybe you noticed and maybe you didn’t. I know that doing that was really good for my soul. It helped me find my voice again. Along with finding my voice, I also found out recently that I have ADHD. In fact, I’ve had it my entire life! The fact is, an ADHD diagnosis wasn’t a thing when I grew up. I think I was out of high school when children began being treated for it. I’m not one to jump on a bandwagon or anything, but I’m glad I saw a woman posting about it on social media. I think she may have helped salvage my life! My ADHD has gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. Blame it on mid-life hormones I guess. All I know is that now I am able to focus on all of these dreams and goals that I’ve had stuffed in my brain for years now.

I hope that 2022 is a year of breakthroughs, triumphs, new beginnings, and happiness for you. I hope that for me too! All I know is that I am grateful each day when my eyes open for another opportunity to go at it again. I hope you are as well! ~Cheyenne